THE LOVE WITHOUT BOTTOM LINE, SIMPLY BECAUSE OF THE CONNECTION OF BLOOD——《THE TERMS OF ENDEARMENT》
Knew it was the best picture of ACADEMY AWARDS long time ago, but have been reluctant to watch, only because the Chinese translated title is a bit vulgar, but after watching, those plot, dialogue which were lingering in my mind make my eyes full of tears.
Knew it was the best picture of ACADEMY AWARDS long time ago, but have been reluctant to watch, only because the Chinese translated title is a bit vulgar, but after watching, those plot, dialogue which were lingering in my mind make my eyes full of tears.
Everyone says motherly love is a kind of nature, why the tit-for-tat between mother and daughter is always so intense, it seems we can include and forgive every thing and people around us, but we usually spare no pains while speaking to our own mothers or daughters.
Thinking about this in detail, only one reason might be which is the inseparable mother-daughter love. No matter as a mother or a daughter, they're all aware of that they will forgive each other every time, even they ever hurt each other too bad by words, attitude, etc. And the tolerance exists in none except mother-daughter, the emotional bond between mother-daughter is connected by the blood, never cut off.
That pair of mother daughter in this drama, it should be said, they're really a little worse, actually they have a a lot of shortcomings in their characters. The young widowed mother raised her daughter while maintaining family business by herself, she's a strong woman with sense of power, you also can say she'd like to control something, like she controls the men pursuing her, of course she wants her only daughter live in her direction; what a pity her daughter is not so intimate, she is assertive whose opinions is always run counter to her mother, certainly marriage is no exception. So in the film we can often hear their loud voices arguing on something. However they are mother-daughter after all, even the mother wasn't present for her daughter wedding ceremony, didn't lend money to her when she's in difficulties, though separated by several states, but their daily telephone exchange became a habit, it is laughable that the mother still stressed the expensive phone charges when daughter left home. What they're chatting is not greetings each other, mostly they're complaining about their trivial day, sometimes they made disputes, but the second day, they continued to call. Just like what people always say, there ain't hatred survives overnight between mother-daughter.
What happened in this story are all very normal, trivial, but made us feeling hurt ed, cause we found too many familiar spots in our own life. The daughter feels tough "why mother always forbids me to do what I like, why should she do me?" Mother would have complained "why the kid doesn't follow my words she thought I will do harm to her, why she always treats me like I am an enemy."
Toward the end of the story, we got the sense through some simple conversations lines:
Aurora Greenway: I just don't want to fight anymore.
Emma Horton: What do you mean? When do we fight?
Aurora Greenway: When do we fight? I always think of us as fighting!
Emma Horton: That's because you're never satisfied with me.
It seems the daughter Emma is more savvy than her mother Aurora, through the short span of words we can see Emma loves mother all the time no matter how rebellious she was, but she never think she is on the opposition of her mother. Indeed Aurora is less satisfied with Emma, cause she wants her live a happy life, but Emma has been unable to make herself live comfortably enough, spend well-being days with no need to worry about anything; As a mother, Aurora just wanted to teach her beloved daughter with her own experience not to repeat mother's mistakes——paying for family and children, losing herself. The difficulty is how she could say directly to her, making her think she delayed her mother's happiness, she'll be hurt ed. Aurora knew too much it's a mother's instinct to pay for children whit none complaint, she don't want Emma to give birth to too many children just because she hope Emma won't have that opportunity to pay for. All of these is truly "love", truly "protection". But the point is everyone needs to go about his own life, only experienced could really get the true meaning of the life. If Emma didn't experience the motherhood, how she could understand how hard the mother work is, how profound the motherly love is! She understood they've never struggled, the apparent struggle is indicated they've been in love with each other.
Emma and Aurora share the same experience in the story, Aurora didn't remarry after widowhood, facing the successive temptations, she didn't shake, raising her only daughter, working for family business with all her heart, she was tantamount to giving up her own section of love for welcoming her daughter back home. Emma found her no-ability husband cheat her and she also has a new lover, but she still break up with her Valentine, moving to another farther city because of her husband's work transformation. She told her best friend she had no idea why she made such decision, but we know the reason is her consideration of her three children, Tommy( her elder son) can't accept her mother's being with another man, Ted( her younger son）wants to live together with all his family, and her little daughter is too little. At that moment, what she most concerned of is not her marriage bur her children's happy childhood. She can accept she got cancer and would die soon, she acted optimistic on the face, but she didn't know how to tell her children such a unbelievable truth, she knew the children would get very upset. When Emma came to the end of her life, she realized once she became a mother she's changed gradually, she no longer gave prior place to herself, what matters most is her children. What her mother told her before her wedding made sense to her, Aurora was right, but Emma deeply understood she didn't fell regret to take such a way of life, although hard, still happy.
Emma Horton: What do you mean? When do we fight?
Aurora Greenway: When do we fight? I always think of us as fighting!
Emma Horton: That's because you're never satisfied with me.
It seems the daughter Emma is more savvy than her mother Aurora, through the short span of words we can see Emma loves mother all the time no matter how rebellious she was, but she never think she is on the opposition of her mother. Indeed Aurora is less satisfied with Emma, cause she wants her live a happy life, but Emma has been unable to make herself live comfortably enough, spend well-being days with no need to worry about anything; As a mother, Aurora just wanted to teach her beloved daughter with her own experience not to repeat mother's mistakes——paying for family and children, losing herself. The difficulty is how she could say directly to her, making her think she delayed her mother's happiness, she'll be hurt ed. Aurora knew too much it's a mother's instinct to pay for children whit none complaint, she don't want Emma to give birth to too many children just because she hope Emma won't have that opportunity to pay for. All of these is truly "love", truly "protection". But the point is everyone needs to go about his own life, only experienced could really get the true meaning of the life. If Emma didn't experience the motherhood, how she could understand how hard the mother work is, how profound the motherly love is! She understood they've never struggled, the apparent struggle is indicated they've been in love with each other.
Emma and Aurora share the same experience in the story, Aurora didn't remarry after widowhood, facing the successive temptations, she didn't shake, raising her only daughter, working for family business with all her heart, she was tantamount to giving up her own section of love for welcoming her daughter back home. Emma found her no-ability husband cheat her and she also has a new lover, but she still break up with her Valentine, moving to another farther city because of her husband's work transformation. She told her best friend she had no idea why she made such decision, but we know the reason is her consideration of her three children, Tommy( her elder son) can't accept her mother's being with another man, Ted( her younger son）wants to live together with all his family, and her little daughter is too little. At that moment, what she most concerned of is not her marriage bur her children's happy childhood. She can accept she got cancer and would die soon, she acted optimistic on the face, but she didn't know how to tell her children such a unbelievable truth, she knew the children would get very upset. When Emma came to the end of her life, she realized once she became a mother she's changed gradually, she no longer gave prior place to herself, what matters most is her children. What her mother told her before her wedding made sense to her, Aurora was right, but Emma deeply understood she didn't fell regret to take such a way of life, although hard, still happy.
I'm moved so much by such plots, at the last time of Emma's life, she discussed children's future with her husband; she couldn't wait to tell her boys how to face their life, because she was unable to be accompany with them when they grow up. She knew she such little time to teach them, but it's necessary to arrange their rest of life before she pass away. It's a mother's duty, she must accomplish that. What she told Tommy during their last meeting, is also very expressive, Emma and Aurora love each other always, but are reluctant to express, it is fortunate that they finally broke the ice in their living days. She can feel how much Aurora loves her, she also knew how much she loves Aurora. Maybe when Tommy's awaken how much he loves Emma, he's lost the opportunity to express to her mother, she's so scared her son will be regret about that all his life, so she stressed to his son repeatedly she knew son loves her.
This is a tragicomedy. Although the end is sad, but there also has a lot of warm, happy scene. For example, Aurora and Emma made phone call everyday, talking about some non-essential things which occurs often, some personal feelings of privacy matters ( The daughter support mother date with guys, mother didn't mind daughter's extra-marital affairs, both they think why not as long as they live happily. As we know, these two kinds of of love are restricted areas in social ethics which couldn't be issues between two generations. However they talk about that, talk like friends, lying in bed, eating ice cream, lifting the spirits laugh from time to time, where it 's hard to find any generation gap between them, The mother-daughter love is just to hope the other side to be happy unconditionally, nothing is important er than their happiness.
In fact, Emma didn't live better than her mother, the only happy time for her is her new wedding, the rest are basically raising children, busy household work, worrying about the cost of living... In this regard, it's a great use of the color in this movie, in compare, Aurora's house is always full of flowers, but the daughter's gives people the feeling of dark and cold. Although maternal old, but the color of clothes Aurora wears is much better and brighter than daughter. Mother was enjoying the life, daughter is making living, in Emma's ten years marriage days, she was too tired to be ill, she understood the meaning of her mother's words, even which made you very uncomfortable before, we can always feel why the mother's words are always unacceptable, because they are honest to us, the reality is usually so cruel.
It's worthy of the title of the Oscar's best motion picture, low-cost production, simple and ordinary story of profound significance, two great actresses' outstanding performances make the movie high quality, If it's possible to have double-Oscars in one catalog, they should be both winners, just like Shirley MacLaine's acceptance speech:" I deserve this."
